RomanoxReader: Notebook Entries

(Name) wasn't in good shape. She was staying with the Vargas's for the weekend since her parents were out, and she helped her Lovino in return to get a date with a girl in school. She didn't mind helping her friends when she could, but what she did mind was that she just couldn't get to him.

He didn't know how she felt when he told her that he wanted to have a date with this girl. It tore her apart when he told her bluntly about it.

She sat quietly on the couch, writing every single emotion she had onto a page in her notebook.

"(Name), are you okay?" Feliciano, his younger brother asked.

"Oh, I'm alright, Feli."

"But you're writing like crazy~! You only do that when there's something on your mind!" He began thinking of reasons (Name) could be writing about. "Was is the pasta I made for dinner?"

She chuckled softly. "No, the pasta was delicious, actually."

"Oh… Is it fratello?"

She froze in place, a little blush spreading on her cheeks. "Um…"

"It is, isn't it?" Feliciano knew well about her love for his brother. "Is it about Lily and their date?"

"Y-yeah."

"Do want to talk about it with me? It's better when you talk it out, (Name)."

"You promise not to tell anyone?" Feliciano nodded. "Well, I helped Lovino out with planning his date, and I was hoping that Lily would decline 'cause, y'know, I like him and all. But she didn't! So Lovino started asking me to help him plan the date, and you know I can't say no him. So I pretended I was her and I totally got to see the romantic side of him, and I realized I liked him more than I thought!" (Name) took a deep breath in, sighed, and hugged her knees close.

"It'll be okay, mi amico~" He patted her back assuringly.

"No, it won't Feli. I'm really just hopeless when it comes to love." She felt like she was about to cry. "I'm j-just… I'll be in my room, okay?" (Name) got up before he could answer. 

"(Name), I'll come around soon, okay?"  He saw her stop before turning at a corner, and nod before she started walking again. 

~~~~An Hour Later~~~~

"Oi, I'm back." 

"Fratello~ Welcome back~" Feliciano was over in the kitchen when he heard Lovino return. 

"Where's (Name)?" Lovino asked as he took off his shoes and jacket. 

"Um…" I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone… "She's in her room right now. I was going to stop by and give her some snacks."

Lovino sighed. "Well, I'll give it to her. I wanted to talk to her anyway." 

"How was the date, Fratello?" He just needed to know. 

Lovino shrugged. "In the end, we're just gonna be friends. She wasn't the right one for me." He picked up the tray of (whatever you like for late night snacks). 

"Oh… you know, maybe the girl you're looking for is really close to you." Feliciano was just hoping that he would get the hint. 

"Whatever." He headed towards the room and saw that the door was unlocked. 

Inside the room, he saw (Name) curled up on the bed with. He couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. Lovino placed the tray on the desk and placed the covers over her body.

He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, revealing the puffy, red cheeks that he didn't notice.

"Well, Lily, doesn't look like it's gonna work anytime soon."

He noticed her notebook at her side with her pencil marking inside, marking her page. Lovino picked it up to put it at her bedside table, and accidentally opened it. 

"W-what the hell is this?" 

He saw something in there that he shouldn't have seen. 

---

Geez, I don't even know why I'm still trying to confess to him anymore! He already likes someone other than me, so I should really give up now. I mean, I don't really remember why I loved him! I don't remember how kind his eyes look when he's actually concerned, his brotherly care, or how he's always so flustered when people find out about it. I don't remember how he tries to look really strong but he's really just kind and friendly when you get to know him better. And I absolutely don't remember how charming he is when he smiles. 

. . .

Okay, so maybe I do remember. But it's not like he actually knows that. All he knows is that I'm just a really good friend, he says. Lily's a really lucky girl, isn't she? She got go on a date with him, while I'm here, still only on friend terms. 

What's the point of lying to myself if I know it's not true? I can't hate him. There's no way I can. I'm absolutely in love with him. Not that he cares about that, right?

---

Lovino finished reading it, and heard (Name) mutter and turn on her other side. Immediately, he left the room, closing the door silently behind him. He walked into his room with his face still red with his blush. 

He put the notebook down on his desk and began pacing around in circles. How was he supposed to react to that? He wasn't really expecting for it to happen. Especially after he came home from his "date" with Lily. 

You see, that wasn't really a date. Lily knew both (Name) and Lovino well, and she knew that (Name) really loved Lovino. So with her knowledge, she brought him out to brainstorm ideas for him to come out and confess. He tried doing it in person (Too many times to count), but…

~Flashback~
Lovino found her at the grocery store, buying food for her family. Like always, he saw that notebook in her messenger bag. They had a little talk before the moment came. 

"O-oi. . . R-ragazza . . . I-I, um, I . . ." He avoided eye contact with (Name) trying to get those three words out of his mouth. "I-I see you have tomatoes on your list!" Lovino pointed at her small paper of groceries. 

"Oh, yeah, I do." She looked down at it, too, giving out a small laugh. 

"Idiota, just come to my house and get some. They're better than this shit," he grumbled as he pointed behind him with his thumb to the produce section. Obviously, he was disappointed he didn't really say what he wanted to say. 

"O-okay, do you want me to pay you back?" she asked politely, pushing things around in her bag for her wallet.

"No, but in return, you gotta hang out with me."

(Name) smiled happily as she agreed.

~End of Flashback~

He sighed. "You're not the only one trying, (Name)." Lovino grumbled to himself before grabbing a pen at his desk. 

~~~~~~~

Feliciano left that morning to go to training with Ludwig and Kiku. That left (Name) and Lovino to sit quietly at the table, eating their breakfast. 

"S-so… how was your date with Lily?" she asked, trying to break the ice. 

"I-It was fine, we're just friends."

"I see…" 

The two sat across from each other in an awkward silence. (Name) tried to look for something to talk about. All she needed was a simple subject that she could —

"I'm gonna go for a walk. We still need to hang out after that time you got tomatoes from me."

"Oh… Okay." She blushed as he picked up her empty plate with his and told her that he was going to leave in a couple of minutes. (Name) headed to her room to change and get her bag ready. 

She noticed that her notebook was neatly on the desk in her guest room and picked it up.

 Was it always there? I didn't see it when I woke up.

 She opened the book, seeing that there was an entry that wasn't in her handwriting. 

"E-eh?"

---

Idiota, you didn't think that I was having a hard time too? Do you know how many times I've tried telling you the same thing? But I always get interrupted by the most random of things. I'll tell you, having that Francis bastard running around naked and drunk made it a bit too awkward for my taste. I couldn't tell you anything, because I cherished the time I had with you. 

I've been trying almost every day I saw you. But every time I see that face, my mind just goes blank and I'm forced to say something else. (Name), I've tried a letter, but the wrong person got the message. Damn that wine bastard… 

What I'm trying to say is …

There's no way I can hate you, too.

---

"H-he…" There was a blush painted on her face as she looked down at the page again. (Name) smiled, and placed it into her messenger bag before changing into some comfortable clothes for the walk with Lovino. 

~~~~~~~

"Ragazza, are you ready?" Lovino asked, getting his shoes on and saw (Name) come around the corner with her bag. He couldn't help but blush after what he wrote in her notebook last night and saw her put her headphones in her ears. 

She smiled. "Yup! Ready when you are!" 

The two headed out, and another awkward silence filled the air between them. When they entered the park and sat down on a bench, (Name) was quietly listening to her music, until Lovino decided to pull one out and put it into his ear. 

"You like this kind of music?" He asked, giving a faint smile.

"Yeah, I kinda got hooked in it, really," she laughed.

"I see. H-how… how's your day so far?" He kept his gaze away from hers, still trying to hide his reddening face and trying to not pull the ear bud out of her ear. 

"Um… fine… yours?" she replied 

"Fine…" 

He grumbled a choice of Italian words before finally taking a bold step. Lovino carefully took (Name)'s hand in his, intertwining his fingers with hers. 

"I-I can't hate you, mi bella (Name)," Lovino mumbled as his ears were getting a little red. 

She couldn't process what he just said, and was plain speechless. 

"Ti amo … (N-Name)."  

(Name)'s face had a blush similar to his. But she was smiling a bit nonetheless. "I-I love you, too, Lovino." 
 
He placed both his hands gently on either sides of her face and leaned in for a gentle kiss on her lips. Something he wanted to do for a while. (Name) was surprised how his kiss contrasted with his personality, but found another reason to love him even more. 

He pulled back after such a short kiss to give a peck on the cheek and a close hug. 

"Io veramente ti amo, mia bella (Name). Si prega di essere mio per sempre," he whispered gently. 

"Lovi, you know I don't speak Italian," she giggled. 

"Which is exactly why I say it, ragazza." 

Lovino came back from the hug and gave his (Name) a loving smile, which she gladly returned. 

 "Ah~ Antonio, Lily, it's Fratello and (Name)!" a familiar voice chirped. They looked in the same direction to see Feliciano, Lovino's friend, Antonio, and Lily running towards the two. 

"Fratello, did you confess to (Name)?" Feliciano asked. 

"Lovi, I knew you could do it!" Lily giggled happily. 

"How 'bout we all go get churros as a celebration?" Antonio cheered. 

(Name) was blushing like crazy, trying to process what the three were saying, before Lovino grabbed her hand. 

And right before running away from the group, he spat, "No way in hell, Antonio. She's mine."

The two ran away from the group and laughed together, sharing more kisses with each other.